Corners

I have, over the many years of my adolescence and (alleged) adulthood, painted myself into a corner.
It would seem that I also used that non-drying, anti-climb security paint.

I am a dyed-in-the-wool, card carrying Introvert. I am not fond of people (in the main), I avoid crowds. I am not garrulous or vociferous in a group, though in a one-on-one conversation I can chat away with the best of'em. My one-liners are Killer though :)

I am reclusive to the point of hermitage and therein lies my problem.

I am friendless (no seriously... Facebook excepted), and whilst I enjoy my own company immensely, I sometimes get incredibly lonely.

My question is this,

"How do I break the cycle of reclusivity?"

Hmmmm... Tough...

1. I am the world's worst at starting a conversation. How does one just walk up to a stranger and start a conversation? I have no idea. As a consequence of this, as You may have deduced, chatting to a woman in a bar (or wherever) is something (at 47) I have never done. (I will state here that I have been married and produced two beautiful daughters, but am now sans la femme). In fact, chatting to ANYONE, regardless of gender, is something I am unable to do unless I walked into said establishment with someone. I have never understood 'small talk', the need to speak without actually saying anything and find the writing of Poetry and Prose to be a far easier proposition.

2. I rarely drink alcohol and therefore don't frequent purveyors of alcoholic beverages, again something that distances me from the vast majority of the population of this royal throne of kings, this sceptered isle, etc, etc, this blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England (thanks Bill). Mother was an alcoholic bless her, and this has turned me off the demon drink. The upside of this is that I'm a cheap date and get hammered easily (and can be hilarious by all accounts... more so once inebriated).

3. My appearance... Hmmm... I am what I am there. I have been told I can be physically intimidating if You don't know me... The frown and penetrating stare of the Myopic trying to see in focus perhaps? The Dreads don't help, but if You are so narrow-minded to stereotype me as a stinky, idle Hippy that's YOUR problem not mine and You can walk the fuck away with Your judgementalism, and I'll dress as I see fit, i.e. for comfort, rather than slavishly follow the latest trends, thank You VERY much.

4. My Brain... Is it true that people find intelligence intimidating? As a Sapiosexual I cannot understand that at all.

INTELLIGENCE IS SEXY...

Truth... but I have been reliably informed that this is the case with many averagely intellectual folk.

5. Am I looking for excuses or does it look odd for a man to walk into a social establishment on his own? Especially a man whose appearance doesn't fit the 'norm'.

So how does an anti-social, middle-aged man with few social skills develop a circle of friends?

Answers on a postcard ....